Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
two words: eviction party
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
