Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
