do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
