Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
