and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
