AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
God I need to hump something, right now.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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