I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
