you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
