I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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