i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
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Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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