I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We had sex on a dog bed..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
