plz talk dirty to me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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