someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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