sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
