Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
