i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
