The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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