That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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