How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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