everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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