lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize