This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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