new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
