is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
