Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
