He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
