I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
