I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize