this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
