i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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