$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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