we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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