I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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