Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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