I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
