I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize