So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
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Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
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The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.