Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus