i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.