The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.