if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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