marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.