Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
