She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I want to be your penis for a week.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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