it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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