I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Randomize
