Having a random hookup so left but love u
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
