and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize