I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
