This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize