I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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