he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
