Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
