she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You are the jesus of drinking
I just gargled with NyQuil
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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