Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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