her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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