Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You smell like stripper and shame
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
