what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
