He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
