i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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