would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
