"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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