never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
