Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize