Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
