i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
barbara walters just said penis...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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