An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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