I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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