If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
