then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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