Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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