doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
