Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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