It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
