porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
